Not With a Bang
by daughterofmars
Summary: In the moment the world ends, Michiru regrets all the words she never deemed necessary. Sera Myu inspired. A tribute to Yuhka's Michiru.


Just a quick angsty piece I wrote because I've been making Yuhka icons all day and miss my girlfriend like whoa. This is Sera Myu based, inspired by the musical Mugen Gakuen which again is inspired by the anime/manga. I am specifically referring to the scene where Saturn sings "And the World Died Out". The scene Michiru recalls is of my own making, but the feeling is so strongly Nao and Yuhka to me that it felt almost Myu canon (reminded me a bit of the fever scene from Kaguya Shima Densetsu Kaiteiban, actually). Enjoy. Not my best piece of writing, but I love the emotion in it and the-short-moment-in-the-middle-of-chaos feeling of it - and the irony of the ending. Reviews are as always love. If not for anything else, then to welcome me back to the fandom - I've been gone for a while.

You knew, but I repeat just in case. I own nothing.

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**Not With a Bang**

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"Haruka," she'd said that very same morning when Haruka had come home from her morning run with a single white rose in her hand and the gentle smile she reserves for Michiru only curving on her lips, "even if the world is going to end, I cannot be sorry."

Haruka's eyes had clouded over, of course, from the sudden storm of harshness that such comments always awoke in her. Michiru had voiced the same line of thoughts before and Haruka would never stop despising her for it, Michiru knew... just a little... because in Haruka's eyes they were _Senshi_ and their duty was to win. Never to lose.

"Don't speak such rubbish," Haruka had answered, her voice dark. Michiru looked first at the rose on the table, its fragile white petals still a bit moist from dew and then out the window at the darkening sky. A storm was coming. But she knew that already...

"We won't let Saturn revive. We mustn't." Determined. Haruka was always determined.

Michiru smiled. Gently. Bitterly. She recognised her own words as they tumbled over Haruka's lips. Was this not the very same speech she'd given when Haruka had picked up her Uranus transformation pen and thus taking upon her the cross of a soldier? Was this not the very same mission she'd been informed about by Pluto in her dreams... night after night until she could watch from the sideline no longer...

Once she'd been an idealist, had Michiru. But those sweet days of innocence were gone. Haruka still believed in her own strength, but Michiru had long ago come to realise that her selfishness would at some point put the world at danger if she should remain true to her heart. She couldn't save the world if it meant saying goodbye to the one person she'd ever loved, after all...

"Even if we fail," she had continued, undisturbed, and raised her gaze to meet Haruka's eyes that always changes like the sky, from blue to grey and back again depending on the conditions and the surroundings. "Even so, I will not regret. Because you..." A pause. A second of hesitation and the sentence continued as if nothing had held it back. "... have given me this rose." Picking up the frail-looking flower that had thorns so sharp that her skin gave way and a single blood-drop ran down her index finger, she smiled. A real smile this time, bordering on a laugh.

Even the most frail-looking beauty could be deadly at times. Michiru knew this better than anyone.

She had wanted to say something else entirely. Michiru had wanted to tell Haruka that because of her, she could no longer experience the feeling of the wind playing with her hair without thinking of a pair of feminine hands and strong, strong arms. That she could no longer look at the sky after a downpour without remembering a pair of mesmerizing eyes that always draws her in... in... in... until she forgets that she has a duty to fulfill...

She didn't say it. Because she thought the words wouldn't be necessary. Haruka knew already, for sure... she had to...

Now she regrets. As Saturn raises her Glaive, Michiru regrets all the things she never got to tell Haruka. All the things they did not have the time to experience together. All the days they lost to their oh so noble battle against Pharao 90. And she can't help but hate Usagi a little... for being their Princess... for being so weak...

Haruka regrets as well, Michiru can tell. Underneath her gloves, she feels the earth shake as Haruka bangs her fists against the ground, again and again and again. Next to her, the normally so proud form of Uranus crumbles and Haruka's shoulders shake as she cries. All Michiru's hopes, her wishes and whatever glimpse of strength she has left dissolve in those tears as they drip onto Haruka's bare arms and run down her wrists, making the fabric of her gloves darken.

"No..." Uranus bites out between sobs, "no... no... no..."

Michiru wants to reach out and take her hand. She wants this to be one of the many evenings in Haruka's yellow convertible. She wants the scenario in front of them to be the sunset reflected in Haruka's golden hair...

Haruka would say: "Another fruitless day, ka?" and Michiru would answer: "Ara, is a day in my company fruitless?" And when Haruka gave her that _look_ she would always give her - half annoyed, half amused - Michiru would take her hand and press a quick kiss to her knuckles.

"We'll get there, Haruka," she would have murmured then. "In due time, we'll get there."

Now they are there, but "there" is nothing like she'd imagined. Even if she had feared the worst, she'd never truly believed... especially not for it to be brought about because of Sailor Moon's stupidity...

In that moment, the seconds before she feels the world ending all around her and her own existence beginning to run out, Michiru would give everything to return to that morning, to claim those precious minutes back and tell Haruka, word for word, what she had meant to tell her.

_That she loves her. More than life itself. More than any duty and mission she's ever had. More than playing the violin and more than painting. Loves her. Enough for her to give up even this silly short-lived world. Enough to never embrace the powers of the ocean again, if it was required of her. To be with Haruka._

But the time has run out and Michiru knows she won't be given a second chance.


End file.
